These past few weeks have been HARD! The Lord is showing me each day that the difficulty is really tied up in my selfishness.
- Selfishness that I want time for myself; time to put my house in order; time with my husband; time to fellowship with friends.
- Selfishness that I miss what was an "easier" life when we were a family of 5 vs 8.
- Selfishness that I don't want to put the energy into teaching everything that needs taught every day, like manners, obedience, respect, gentleness,sharing, kindness, etc., etc.
- Selfishness that I am scared to face the adoption, attachment, and parenting issues that will come in the next weeks, months, and years.
God is showing me how wrapped up I have been in myself, my needs, my wants, my desires, and my dreams. He is stripping all of this away and showing me that my life is not my own.
I thought I knew this when we headed towards the cliff to accept His call to adopt. I thought I knew it even more when we stepped off the cliff and accepted the call to bring home three. But now I am learning that He has SO much more to teach me about what it truly means to give up my life for His.
I read this GREAT blog post tonight that helped put it in to perspective for me. It is long, but it is worth the read. Warning: it may lead you to ponder difficult and dangerous paths - maybe even jumping off a cliff of your own. http://blessingsfromethiopia.blogspot.com/2009/06/i-wish-i-could-tell-you.html
5 comments:
I'm in tears from your post and the one you linked to. Your heart is so honest, pure and full of God. Thank you.
Christy
mom to 3 from China
youbelong.net/schraeder
Sherry and Semlows,
What a truly heart touching post from you and heart searching link to the other BLOG.
I pray that your daily footsteps would be ordered by God and for those times of refreshing and refilling.
I am thankful for your heart of trust and obedience toward God that is such an example for me.
Love and hugs and prayers,
Debi
Hi Sherry,
I wanted to tell you how much I look forward to reading your blog posts about your adoption journey. I often find nuggets in your writing that make me really think about my life. Like the theme of the pastor’s message at the church in Ethiopia: “Why has God placed you in this place at this time?” and that we have to be willing to lay our lives on the line because the lives of others are at risk. That our lives are not our own. And the reference in your friend’s blog post to Matthew 22:45, and “I don't know how we can really claim to love Jesus if we don't love Jesus the Street Child. If we don't love Jesus the Orphan. Jesus the Prostitute. Jesus the Abandoned.” I can add Jesus the Alcoholic, Jesus the Unchurched, Jesus the Angry and Bitter, Jesus the Depressed.
Over the years, I’ve always been inspired by yours, Kevin’s, and now your family’s strong faith. My own walk with Christ has been so slow, haphazard, flawed, and failed. I don’t know that I’ll ever get there. But, you give me something to aspire to. Thank you.
Claudia McFadden
Such similar lessons that I too have been learning! Thanks for putting it in words.
Blessings,
Hilary Forrest
Oh, my friend you are speaking our language. Chad and I are echoing this over and over again. And I know mine aren't even all here yet!! His ways are beyond me but his love is ever changing me. Praise God that he loves us so much to begin stripping away ourselves!
We are in this together precious friends!
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