Meeting with Birth Family...

We met the children's birth parents on Friday afternoon.  We were able to sit out in an empty courtyard at the hotel under a large umbrella with a circle of chairs.  We had T interpreting for us and a moderator that had brought the family to interpret for them.  Our children's parents speak Sidima, so the moderator was to translate from Sidima to Amharic, and then T would translate from Amharic to English.  It turns out the parents also speak Amharic fairly well, so T was able to get most of what they were saying with a Sidima word he needed help with here or there.  We were able to talk for about an hour.

Mom and Dad both came.    We did traditional Ethiopian greetings, which is pressing cheeks together on one side, then the other, and then back to the first one.  In these initial greetings, there were no words spoken, just communication through eyes, tears, hugs, and smiles.  It seemed to take forever to get the chairs set up before we were ready to start talking.  My first impression is that Lydia looks just like her birth mom.  We were also pleased that dad had come, because previous word was that he might not be there. 

The big surprise of the day was that we also had the blessing of meeting our children's 10 year old sister Tekalech.  We were totally thrown for a loop by this, as we had previously asked and were told there were no additional siblings.  She was a precious little girl who didn't speak a word the whole time.  They ordered her a coke to drink, but she seemed too taken in by all the happenings to remember that her coke was there.  Her smile was sweet, but cautious and her eyes seemed to try to take everything in.  I think Lydia will look very much like her in a few years.

Once the conversation started, Mom and Dad communicated that they loved their children very much, but due to financial hardships they were unable to care for them.  They wanted them to have a blessed and peaceful life.  They wanted us to love them just the same as we love our other children.  Through tears, we assured them that we absolutely would.  We told them that we already love their children very much, and that we were incredibly blessed to meet them.

They wanted us to come and visit their home, which of course we couldn't due to distance, time restrictions, and adoption guidelines. They also wanted us to have their address so that we could send updates and pictures.  Of course, we couldn't take this either, but we assured them if possible that we would send updates through our adoption agency.  They specifically wanted to make sure we all made it safe to America.

We talked about the meaning of the kid's names and how they chose them for each child.  This brought up birthdays, because Fasika, means Easter, but we were told his birthday is in January.  His parents said he was born on Easter.  They also indicated that the kids are 7, 6, and 3 rather than 5, 4, and 2.  We are not sure which is more accurate, but we'll try to figure that out down the road.  We also found out that they had a 12 year old girl who had died.

We were able to ask mom and dad if they knew Jesus and we could hear them say yes and some dialogue that included the Amharic word for Jesus.  Through tears they indicated that it was God that brought our two families together.  Kevin prayed a prayer of blessing over their family, and then it was time for them to begin their journey home.

The meeting was very emotional for everyone.  Afterwards the four of us went up to our hotel room and sobbed together for a bit and then sat in silence each just trying to process through what we had just been a part of.

For me it just seems so hard to save the children, but leave the family.  Is that really what Jesus wants?  I would have emptied my pockets to that family, if only we had been allowed.  There has to be a better way to care for the families of this world that can't care for their children, than to take the children and say goodbye to the parents.  It's just so broken.  And yet I have no answers.

How has the country of Ethiopia gotten so poor and so desolate that so many have to suffer?  And why did God choose to place us in America, the land of rich and plenty compared to most of the world?

And then little Tekalech … what do I even do with that?  Why has God decided that three should be saved and one should not?  And yet in humility, I don't want to feel like we are coming in to rescue.  Perhaps she is blessed to never know the pain of her mommy and daddy having to give her up.  Perhaps she is blessed that she has not spent many lonely nights in an orphanage.  Who am I to think I know what is best for her?  I can only rest in the hope of her knowledge of Jesus.  I pray that she has or will have a relationship with Jesus that means more to her than any amount of money or comforts in life.  And I pray that someday Isaiah, Josiah, and Lydia will have the opportunity to meet her. 

Our hearts are broken for these loving people who have so little.  We are humbled by how much we have and how much we want and how much we waste.  We pray that these tangible lessons He is teaching us this week will sink to our very core.  They are heart wrenching, they are heart changing.  We will never be the same.

 

As for tomorrow … it is the day we will meet the kids.  What a blessed Mother's Day this will be!

Mom and Dad -  We've been trying to call but can't get a phone connection.  Feel free to try us from your end.  The phone number for the hotel is 00251116626108.  We are in room 202. 

Kaden -  We love you very much!  We hope you are having fun with grandma and grandpa.  How many days are left on your sticker chart?  Did you pick something fun from the toy basket today?  We miss you!!!!